A Question for Food Network
On those Man vs. Food shows, does the director ever throw in the towel?
On those Man vs. Food challenges, does the guy ever throw in the towel?
Let’s say our host is guzzling down spaghetti, literally POURING pasta down his throat. Five pounds in five minutes, so this challenge goes.
Suddenly a meatball gets lodged in his windpipe. He’s been trained for moments like these:
Keep your mouth moving and mock chew while flexing your throat to dislodge the blockage. You cannot alarm the spectators cheering you along. Think of the great shame surrendering would bring upon yourself, the restaurant, and the network. The food never beats the man.
However, this time the throat flex technique is not working.
Our host begins to pound the table with an exaggerated smile on his face, feigning extreme enjoyment of the dish, but the camera operators and broadcast technician see the fear growing in his eyes.
“Sir-” A producer turns to the director. “Shouldn’t we do something?”
The audience roars. They clap along with the suffocating host who beats the table ever more intensely.
The forty-something in charge narrows his gaze. “Let nature take its course.”
Camera cuts to closeup: Our host’s face turns from red to magenta to purple. His eyes roll into the back of his head.
With the final seconds he has left to live, he sporadically grabs a nearby soup ladle and rams it down his throat frantically plunging. The crowd gasps. Our host jerks the spoon up and down his trachea, finally ejecting the meatball and collapsing upon the table.
A hush falls over the room. Our host’s breathing grows shallow. His eyes flutter, ready to close forever.
Then he sees it. The red countdown timer. Forty-six seconds remain.
Mustering all of his strength, our host presses palms to the table and hoists himself upright. With shaking hands he lifts the plate of pasta to his mouth.
The director smiles. Only two pounds left.
Welcome to Flavor Town.
Chase Bortz is a desert lizard who slithered his way to Minneapolis to produce narrative films.